tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS June 16, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
watch out with the little guys and the pets and all this hot weather. be careful. captioning sponsored by cbs >> hi, there. i'm from "this is us." >> gr i'm stephen colbert. >> father's day's is this weekend but every year one subset of fathers is overlooked. >> we're talking about hot tv dads. >> people like me who play dads on tv and are hot. >> stephen: it's not easy for us. just keep reading the thing. >> this year we want to take time out to say happy father's day to all the over-looked and over-worked hot tv dads. >> coach taylor "friday night lights." >> sam benis, private practice. >> bob belcher from bob's burgers. this father's day, remember us,
super hot tv dads. >> and here's something to help you remember. >> stephen: let me join you there. please. >> stephen: daddy's been bad! >> happy father's day. ( cheers and applause ) >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes scarlett johansson. bill burr. and musical guest fleet foxes. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! that's right, that's right!
that's nice. that's crisp. that's crisp. thanks, everybody! thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. and it is-- it is friday. ( cheers and applause ) once again we have made it through the week to friday. you can feel the friday vibe in the crowd. it is unmistakable. these are people ready to cut loose right here, cut footloose. , of course, big news this week is that special counsel robert mueller is investigating donald trump for obstruction of justice. ( cheers and applause ) it's a friday crowd. that's a friday crowd right but trump's got a plan. there. i think he's going to be the first person ever to settle his presidency out of court. ( laughter )
and as always, donald trump-- he's a fighter, you know, he's a street fighter. he punches back. he's fighting back on twitter. yesterday he tweeted: i don't know. maybe because those people are the nonpresident. "everybody else gets to hang out with russia! i hate you. you're not my real special prosecutor. i'm going to my room!" ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) and while we've all been following the investigation, senate republicans have very quietly been hard at work this week on their plan to repeal obamacare. what's in it? who knows? ( laughter ) all we've found out so far is their foolproof plan for getting
it passed-- keeping their health care bill secret. yes, somehow, your health insurance is the one piece of classified information that no one has leaked yet. ( cheers and applause ) yes, yes, yes. yes, it is so secret, the senate health care bill is so very secret, it's like-- it's like the health care bill is the next secret of "game of thrones," and yet somehow more people will die. and they have-- i'm talking about you people, because you won't have health care. ( laughter ) and senator john cornyn of texas had a cute analogy for the secret health care bill, saying, "it's like having a baby. it's not here yet, but it's coming." ( laughter ) and this how john cornyn thinks babies are made? "darlin', what do you say we pop a bottle of wine and enter a secret committee overseen by mitch mcconnell, if you know what i mean."
and this secret baby must be a real monster, because even republican senators are unaware of the health care details. so they're voting for something they've never seen. it's like "the dating game." "healthcare bill number 1: if you were a bird, would you cover pre-existing conditions?" "not on the first date." ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) ( applause ) you can't really blame them. this is a very delicate negotiation. if the bill is too harsh, they'll lose moderates like maine senator susan collins. but if the bill is too generous, they'll lose fiscal conservatives like ohio senator chuck reaper. ( laughter )
now, senate republicans met with the president to discuss the healthcare bill, and he told them he was glad they were working on it, because the house bill that passed last month was "mean, mean, mean." careful, sir. you say "mean" three times into a mirror, and steve bannon appears behind you. ( laughter ) ( applause ) that's kind of crazy for the president of the united states to say that about the house bill because if you remember the day-- the second the house bill passed, trump invited all the republican congressmen to the white house for a party. i haven't seen that many happy white men in suits since the memorial day sale at joseph a. bank. quality products. and here's what trump said back then: >> but we have an amazing group of people standing behind me. they worked so hard, and they worked so long.
and when i said, let's do this. let's go out-- just short, little shots for each one of us, and let's say how good this plan is. >> stephen: "i'll go first! it's mean, mean, mean. you remember that a couple of weeks ago president donald trump withdrew the u.s. from the paris climate agreement. >> audience: booo! >> jon: we don't want that. >> stephen: i agree. this is bad news for just about this is bad news for the residents of tangier, virginia, a small island in the chesapeake bay, which, due to rising sea levels, is losing roughly 15 feet of coastline per year. that's shrinking pretty fast. that water must be pretty cold. >> jon: i like the cut. >> stephen: thank you, jim. cnn recently did a report on tangier that showcased the concerns of the small fishing town's 450 residents. and it appears that this is one
piece of fake news that actually resonated with our president, because this week, trump called the mayor of tangier and told him not to worry about his rapidly-disappearing island. and trump's speaking from his own experience. i mean, he's watched a lot of his businesses go under. ( applause ) a lot of bankrupt casino fans here tonight. according to tangier mayor james "ooker" eskridge, trump told him, "your island has been there for hundreds of years, and i believe your island will be there for hundreds more." yes, if something is there, it's never going away, unless trump meets a younger, hotter one. ( applause ) island! island! a younger, hotter-- hotter, like hotter, island. now, in the unlikely event that trump's words didn't calm
residents of the soon-to-be lost city of tangier, their mayor believes there is a solution to coastal erosion. they need a jetty, or perhaps even a sea wall, around the entire island, and that trump will cut through red tape and get them that wall. yes, trump is going to get them that wall, and make the ocean pay for it. we've got a great show for you tonight. scarlett johansson is here! but when we return, i'll tell you about this year's best father's day cards and their not-so-best first drafts. stick around! liberty mutual stood with me when this guy got a flat tire in the middle of the night. hold on dad... liberty did what? yeah, liberty mutual 24-hour roadside assistance helped him to fix his flat so he could get home safely. my dad says our insurance doesn't have that.
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jon batiste and stay human, everybody. give it up for the band right there, right there! ( cheers and applause ) nice. nice. hey, jon, hey, jon, you know, father's day is this weekend. >> yes, indeed. >> stephen: are you doing anything with or for your dad. >> jon: yes, i always do something for my dad. >> stephen: are you going to go down there? >> jon: i will call him. >> my kids arule out of town this weekend. no kid will be there this weekend. >> jon: is evy going to be there. >> stephen: evy is not going to be there, either. just me. you'll come? ( cheers and applause ) you're all my children now. ( laughter ) as i said, this is father's day. and i'll admit it's okay that i'm going to be alone because father's day is not as important as mother's day.
okay. it's not. no, guys, grow up. it's not. sure we dads teach kids about lawn care and the importance of burying your feelings, but we did not give them life. we did not pass our child through our body like a canned ham. but after you buy dad his new tie that also serves as a barbecue tong, it's always nice to add a thoughtful card. if you haven't picked yours up yet, don't sweat it. right now, i'm going to show you this year's hottest father's day cards and their not-so-great beginnings in a special fathers day edition of "first drafts!" ( applause ) okay, always on "first drafts," i have someone from the audience help me. so could i see a show of hands? do we have any fathering in the audience today who might want to come up on stage? you sir, black shirt. what's your name. >> ben. >> stephen: ben, comup. let's do this.
ben, everybody. all right, ben, thank you so much. have a seat. happy father's day. >> happy father's day to you. >> stephen: ben what's your full name? >> john benjamin roy keith. >> stephen: john benjamin roy keith? >> from the south. >> stephen: you have four names and they're all first names. that is greedy. that is really greedy. happy father's day. would you like a cold beer. >> yes. >> stephen: there gu. cold beer right there. what else do we have? and here is some ground beef. >> ground beef. >> stephen: okay? that packaging is beginning to swell a little bit. ( laughter ) i think we should have-- actually, i need that space right there. i need that space right there. host of the show, guest. don't touch the props. okay. here's how it works-- is are you ever seen us do "first drafts" before? >> i think i saw the mother's day edition. >> stephen: i'm going to shoi a series of father's day cards, okay, a really great one, and followed by the not-so-great first draft of that card, the
way they wrote did the first time before they got it right. is the premise of this joke getting through to you? >> it is. >> stephen: would you mind holding these. hand me the top one as we go along. not yet. i will call for it. are you in town with your wife? >> yes. >> stephen: is she here. >> ruth. >> stephen: say hi to ruth, everybody. and you have kids. >> i do, i have three. >> stephen: three kids. boys, girls? >> two girls, one boys. >> stephen: another great. are they nice to their brother? >> mmmm... sometimes, yes. >> stephen: bad dad just threw you under the bus, girls. i can have the first card please. y here's the final draft of a card. "happy father's day to my one and only dad." that's nice. very sweet.
( laughter ) ( applause ) you never know. you never know. you never do know. how old are they? >> 21, 21, and 18. >> stephen: so twins? >> no we brady bunched it. >> stephen: you joined the family together, that's nice. >> stephen: okay, ben, here's one. okay. there you go. thank you. but the first draft read: ( laughter ) on the weekends, just some boxer shorts is nice. >> after 5. >> stephen: after 5:00? that's nice, very formal of you. that's very nice. let's get some breeze in there. here's a nice one. it's a very sweet one. it says: that's very sweet.
but the first draft read, "want to get high?" you don't do, that right? >> no. >> stephen: you don't do that. don't do that. a lot of kids think you you should be, like, friends with the kids, right? >> i have a marine corps background. no friends. >> stephen: you were in the corps. i was going to ask you for another card, but, yeah, i'll shake your hand. you bet. yeah, okay. thank you for your service. do your kids ever say that to you? >> my son's in the army. >> stephen: he is. thank you for his service. here's one that says, "happy father's day. dad, you rock!" but the first draft was your dad band makes you look like an extra in a viagra commercial." ( applause ) a sip of that. a sip of that.
do you-- everything working in that direction there? ben, you needs the viagra? what? there's no shame. everybody does it? >> we're good. >> stephen: i'm on a couple right now, just to get through the show, absolutely, yeah. ( laughter ) nothing wrong with it. nothing wrong with it. >> it's cool. >> stephen: here's one. it says, "happy father's day. when i grow up, i want to be just like dad!" that's nice. but the first draft says, "but, y'know, without the drinking." ( applause ) here's one that says, "family is forever." that's an important message we should all remember. but the first draft read, "i'm never moving out of the basement." ( laughter ) ( applause )
where did you-- where did you do your marine corps training? where did you do boot camp? >> paris island. >> stephen: paris island, south carolina. ( applause ) are you cheering for the marines or south carolina? i didn't understand a damn thing they just said. could i have the top one. i'm from the low country of south carolina. >> i used to live in charleston. >> stephen: here we go. 3 here's one for the grandfathers out there. "you put the 'grand' in grandpa. happy father's day." that's really sweet. but the first draft said, "please stop calling my wife 'oriental'." ( laughter ) ( applause ) definitely have a sip. bep, thank you so much. we'll be right back with the
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! come on! welcome back, ladies and gentlemen! please, have a seat. folks, i am so excited. my first guest has played everything from black widow in "the avengers" to her in "her." she now stars in rough night. >> there's only one cup left. i can't do it. it's too much pressure. >> froax! if we win this we will be the only girls to ever win the halloween tournament. for womankind. >> to the making me horny and shoot.
( cheers ) >> ooooh! >> stephen: please welcome scarlett johansson. >> hello! >> stephen: it's so nice to see you again. >> it's so nice to see you again. i think i maybe was on your second show. >> stephen: you were. you were my second guest. you were my second lead guest. thank you for coming back. i know how to do this job now. >> how have you-- how have you gotten better? i want to know how you've improved. >> stephen: i enjoy it more, i think. >> yeah, because you were terrified? >> stephen, of course. i totally changed jobs.
i had to be myself, you know. i don't know how to be myself. i had to learn to be myself after all those years. >> believe me, i'm very sympathetic to that. as an actor, i know. >> stephen: you have done it all, super hero movies, sci-fi, woody allen, noir. what is it like now doing a blockbuster comedy? this is your first big blockbuster comedy, isn't it? >> yeah, i think so. i mean-- yeah, i think so. ( laughter ) >> stephen: it's you, it's kate mckinnon, alana glazer, zoe kravitz. >> it's a great cast, an amazing cast of comedians. and it was a blast. i mean it was-- we just immediately jelled. and just laughed and cry laughed and cried the whole time. >> stephen: and it's-- it's a female director, too, right. >> she does "broad city" which is such a great show.
and it was written and directed by lucia, and paul downs, they partnered together. he also plays my fiance in the film. >> stephen: it's all female stars, all female director. it's like the wonder woman of getting coked up and killing a stripper. >> she does something similar to that, doesn't she? >> stephen: she kills some people but she doesn't get coakd up first. >> it's bath salts. >> stephen: exactly. who is grandma geraldine. >> i have a dople ganger. this grandson posted on reddit that-- and i don't have any social media presence. so -- >> stephen: none at all? >> no. >> stephen: tweet, instagram? >> no, nothing. and so this came to me purely because people were like, "oh, my god, you have a dople ganger, and it's crazy." so i looked at this link online. this woman looks exactly like me. it's his grandma. the picture was taken when she was 22. look at the picture!
what? >> stephen: that's totally you. >> it is me from lucy and it looks-- let me look at it. it looks so much like me. >> stephen: it's shocking. >> it's crazy. but she was also really wasted in that picture. ( laughter ) ( applause ) she was. and so, when she-- you know, i found out that she was-- obviously, she looked exactly like me, but she was wasted. i was like you should come and we should get wasted together at the "rough night" premiere. so she came last night to the "rough night" premiere and we did get kind of trashed. she is so nice. geraldine. there we are! look at how cute she is? ( applause ). >> stephen: so she can party? >> can she party? my gosh, she's a lush! she was such a nice woman, though. honestly, it was wonderful to meet her. she's from arkansas, and her daughter, of course, owns a bar. and so-- ( laughter ) and i will eventually make my
way to arkansas and continue this lovely family reunion. she's just-- she's just awesome. >> stephen: well, the last time you were here, you flew in from paris to be on the show, which i was so thrilled for you to come in just to do the show. do you travel all around the world? you must for, like, blockbuster movies, because these marvel movies open in every market in the world. >> we're always traveling to @you know, last press tour we'll go to china. we'll go to france or london or all over the place. >> stephen: is there smoog in all those different places, you have to go around the world, you know, it must be sort of disorienting. is there something you go-- like a comfort food or something-- >> chicken wings. i try chicken wings in every single-- wherever i am. >> stephen: can you get them anywhere? >> unfortunately not. i wish that you could. there are some countries, you know, they want to make the americans feel at home, so you'll go to a hotel bar in
shanghai and there will be wings. >> stephen: because that's my go-to. that's how i test the hotel. >> we the wing s. >> stephen: i already the wingwings and and a caesar sala. >> me, too. we are saims-e. >> stephen: i say that all the time, me and scarlett johansson, kind of sames-e. hold on. hold on. >> so are you a buffalo wing type of person. >> stephen: i'm a buffalo wing. i'm a classic buffalo wing >> and do you go for ranch or bleu cheese. >> i go for the bleu cheese. >> me, too. >> stephen: we should throw down on some wings sometimes. now, how deep do you get into it? since i'm in my hotel room, because you're there in your hotel room, i'm not saying i eat them naked, but-- ( laughter ) i do put down a towel before i start eating these things. ( laughter ) you know, because you have all the towels and the robe and
everything. >> you want to be careful what you touch after you do eat those hot wings. i'm just saying. >> stephen: yes, yes. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> you don't want to get that sauce in your eye. >> stephen: safety first. no, that would certainly-- your eye is the least of the problems. do you get all grieved up? do you get all grieved up? >> what do you think i am, some sort of an animal. >> stephen: you're by yourself in a hotel room, man, it's chow down. hands behind your back and bob for buffalo wings. bob for celery and the bleu cheese. >> that's gross. i don't do that. >> stephen: it's the only way to live. >> really? i eat my wings very detaineely. i kind of eat them like this and then i spin it around and a little bit more eye don't know, i just shove the whole thing in my mouth, it comes out super clean, no meat on the bone. actually, i was with-- we are in the process of shooting "infinite world."
>> stephen: i know! you were spotted in atlanta with chris evans with captain america shooting down in atlanta, right? >> yes, we're down in atlanta. they have really good wings down in atlanta. >> stephen, of course, yeah. >> i did this lemon pepper wing. have you had a lemon pepper wing. >> stephen: yes. have you been to the varsity? >> no. >> stephen: late-night burgers and fries at the varsity. check it out. 24 hours open, 24 hours a day. they'll fry anything you want. >> like what? >> stephen: i don't know, they'd fry this if you bring it up. so can you tell me anything without, you know, getting in trouble. you can tell me anything about what's going on with avengers three, four, seven, or nine? ( laughter ) what you're shooting right now. you can give us a taste, a little hint of what's going on. >> i really can't. i can't think of anything i could possibly say. >> stephen: you're in it. >> okay, i am in it. at one point, i do think that the-- like, the infinite wars, i think at one point 61 or 62
marvel characters in it. >> stephen: what? >> yeah, there's a lot. >> stephen: in one scene there are 61, 62 marvel characters. >> i think in one particular scene there are 32 of us. there are a lot. there are so many of us, i don't even know who is a marvel member or a crew member, honestly. >> stephen: you might be a marvel character. marvel put me in "the anassing spider-man" years ago. >> you're looking to come back for your debut. there's probably room for you. >> stephen: just fit me in. >> then we can have wings at the varsity. >> stephen: i have a captain america shield up there. >> where, where? >> stephen: right upstairs. come with me. >> where. >> stephen: this way. >> you just threw it down? hold on a second. gosh, this is a lot of stairs! ( cheers and applause ) hi! well, that's old time-y. that looks like a garbage pail. what's in there!
>> stephen: it's the script! >> what is in there? >> stephen: i don't know. i'm not joking. i just tried to take this shield off the wall and that's when i discovered there's a safe there. honest to god, i have no idea what's in there. well. ( laughter ) we can just say gone from here. we don't have to go back down. >> adios! >> stephen: is there a camera? is that it? here's the thing, here's the thing. i-- i-- before we came up here, i would like to read that, but i left my glasses down on my desk. is there any way could read that to say good night. >> "rough night" in theaters now. scarlett johansson... what does that say? ( laughter ) oh, everybody, everybody! we'll be right back with bill burr! >> stephen: scarlett johansson, everybody! ( cheers and applause )
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everybody. folks, my next guest tonight is a comedian ( band playing ) who "rolling stone" called the undisputed heavyweight champion of rage-fueled humor. please welcome bill burr. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> rage-fueled humor. i don't even think i'm mad. >> stephen: you don't think that's fair? you don't think the description is? >> no, i'm just old. this is how people used to talk. and then i just lived long enough, and people brought it
down, you know,. >> stephen: people are too polite now? >> not polite. they're nicer. they're pleasant. there's a pleasantness out there. >> stephen: you're not describing that with a pleasant tone of voice. ( laughter ) you managed to make "pleasant" sound like a negative. >> i know. there's nothing i can do. i don't know what it is. i grew up in massachusetts. this is the accent. we sound-- we sound like we're upset. i'm in a great mood. i get a free mug. i love the free mug. >> stephen: we give you this mug. >> yeah! >> stephen: i thought we washed it out and used it again. congratulations, you turn a profit on this one. nothing making you mad? >> oh, things upset me, yes. i-- i don't know. i don't want to-- look, i fly a lot, and there's this whole new thing, generation of people that take their socks and their shoes off on the plane. you've got to look at their smelly feet, and then they'll literally stand up and they will walk into a commercial airline bathroom-- yeah-- use it, and then walk and sit back down
again. >> stephen: that's not right. >> yeah! if i was a dictator, those people lobby eliminated. ( laughter ) i would. >> stephen: yeah, yeah? uh-huh. >> they're animals. they're animals! i saw a guy, he literally-- i was in l.a.x. to come out here, and the guy had his socks and shoes off, and his feet up on his luggage, and everybody had to look at his old 50-something-year-old feet. and i just kept picturing beating the bottom of his feet until he took them off, like shame him into it you. >> stephen: moved here in '95 to new york city? >> yes, i did. >> stephen: you have lived here the entire time since then? >> no, i lived in l.a. briefly in the late 90s, and then came back here in '99, lived here until 2007, loved it, and since then i've lived out in l.a. >> stephen: i moved here in '95, too. it was a little bit different then. >> yeah. >> stephen: it wasn't quite as cleaned up and as nice. >> no, it wasn't. it was a scary place to be. and crowds were not impresspurpose there were drug
addicts, people nodding off, like alphabet city and everything. it was a very difficult place to do stand-up. and now 20 years later i came back and i was doing stand-up locally, and people were like groaning in the crowd at joke s. >> stephen: what do you mean? >> i'll tell you what happened. there's an m&m store in times square now, and just kind of affected everybody, their mindset. and everything now is, "oh, my god! oh, my god! oh, my god." you have to walk them through the jeek. i said, " i saw a lesbian walking through a restaurant." and everybody was like, "oh, my god!" it was undeniable. >> stephen: that she was a lesbian, you mean? >> yeah, she was dressed like john goodman on "roseanne." it was funny to me. she was dressed leak a construction worker. it's funny you would just pick a job eye like women but i don't dress like a pirate and have a
lantern and walk around with it. it was just funny. >> stephen: maybe she was a construction worker. >> she wasn't! her hands were, like, as clean as mine. >> stephen: she's the foreman. >> i almost got offended as, like, a man, looking at her like, "look, we don't do all of that! we'll wear some she had a costume. she had the hard hat and that surveyor thing. you feel it now. they're getting all-- they're back off. "is he saying-- is he saying there's something wrong?" no, i'm saying she was dressed ridiculous. the woman who happened to be a lesbian, it was funny the way she was dressed. i'm going to be washed up in six months. they've got a hershey's store down there. the giant kiss thing with the string. >> stephen: you don't like candy. >> you don't have to have a whole store. is there going to be a snickers
store? how fat do they want to make people. >> stephen: you've got an animated show. where is "f is for family"? >> it's on netflix. >> stephen: i very very good things. >> season two. 10 episodes, just came out the other day. ( applause ). >> stephen: why-- this is-- is it set in the 1970s? because it looks like it is. >> yes, it is. >> stephen: why did you want to do an animation and why the 70s? >> just through telling family stories doing stand-up, as a young comic, everyone would laugh telling my family stories. and now i'm old and the helicopter parent kids came. >> stephen: we were left alone, we were left alone. >> you know the guys now, they have cupcakes and kittens on their shirts. and it astowndz me. i was like if i wore anything remote likely that i would get the living hell beaten out of me. how are you doing that, on the subway, wearing that? it blows my mind. it wasn't that they weren't
laughing. they were feeling bad for me. and i had to look at the crowd and go, "i deserved the beating. i deserved it!" see. >> stephen: we have a clip i want to show the people. this is-- you are in your own show. you're the dad in this? >> yes, i play frank murphy, who is an amalgum of everybody's dad in the writers' room. and this is kind of basically what dads used to beik when i was growing you, you were afraid of your dad. he came home, he came in the front door and you went out the back. you remembered staying in the woods until he left. >> stephen: we should probably show the clip. >> hey, mr., are you a pervert? >> no. >> then why are you stand act that lady through that window like one? >> that's my wife in there. >> how come you're not at work? >> how come you're not leave meeg the (bleep) alone. >> i'm going to tell my dad you swore at me, he's a cop. >> then he can solve your
murder. >> you have to stop swearing at other people's children. >> hey, go play with your father's gun! >> frank! >> i didn't swear! >> thank you for having me. thank you, i had a good time. >> stephen: "f is for family" season 2 is sonetflix right now. bill burr, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by fleet foxes. wit. easy boy! but we don't want annual contracts and hardware. you scoundrel! we just want to stream live tv. and we want it for 10 dollars a month. (batman:raspy) wow. i'd like that in my house. it's a very big house. yeah, mine too. look at us. just two bros with sick houses. high five. directv now. a big streaming deal for $10 a month. it's entertainment your way.
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their first new album in six years today, titled, "crack-up." here performing "third of may," ladies and gentlemen, fleet foxes! ♪ light ended the night, but the song remained ♪ and i was hiding by the stair, half here ♪ half there, past the lashing rain ♪ and as the sky would petal white, old innocent lies came to mind ♪ as we stood, congregated, at the firing line
"the late show," everybody! join me next week when i'll be joined by seth rogen and paul shaffer. and the world's most dangerous band returns to the ed sullivan theater. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way inside of the doomsday sea tank in norway,